i'm still in awe. my belly continues to expand and it's getting hard. i find my hand rubbing it constantly (something that used to make me cringe if i saw that so i try really hard to not do it in public) i have felt little twinges and rolls that i was convinced couldn't be the babies until i saw them on u/s yesterday and the one on the left (where i've been feeling those things) was kicking and rolling and dancing away. the doc agreed that that is probably what i've been feeling :)
for now, all the heartache and anger and pain of IF are in the past. i am so happy for what i finally have. i know my long struggle to get here helps me appreciate this pregnancy even more. now that i look pregnant, i feel special. i am grateful to my body for growing and protecting these precious little babies.
last night at prenatal yoga there was a woman there who is a gestational carrier for one of her friends. we talked about PIO shots and crin.one suppositories (she's on both) and i teared up telling her how much i admired what she was doing for a friend.
my struggle won't ever not be a part of who i am and where i've come from. but i'm so thankful and happy that it's not a part of my everyday. for those of you still struggling (who have probably long since stopped reading my blog, and that's okay) i really hope your painful journey ends joyfully. keep fighting the fight, it will all be worth it.