changing moods

i haven't been writing, or reading much lately. i've been in a kind of blah mood. i've been keeping myself busy doing things for the renovations going on at our house and sewing (ironically, sewing a baby quilt for a friend, but anyways)

over the past few weeks we've been having bad luck. first, mr.'s car was in the shop 2 weeks in a row which got us for about $1200. shit. a few days later, my car started acting up and needs $1000 worth of work. double shit. the light i picked out and splurged on and spent lots of time convincing mr. on for our new front porch didn't work because the storm door hits it. damn. our ikea furniture we bought and put together didn't fit where we need it to. dammit.

just little things, adding up, small annoyances keeping me in my grumpy mood.

and then, i got the call back from the nurse about my hcg levels today. it was 6 and it has to be under 5, so i have to go back next week. crap. i was feeling particularly frustrated and started explaining my annoyances with our IF journey so far. i told her i've played by the RE's rules for a year and i've only had 3 cycles and now i want to do it my way. i told her it was ridiculous to wait until mid december when all the research says you need 2 months from the methotrexate shot and that will be in november for me. plus there will be 3 weeks of BCP, so it will really be almost 3 months. i told her we didn't want to have to repeat all of our testing (which expires in december) and miss a family vacation in january all because our RE is being extra conservative. she said RE is away and she will plead my case to him after my bloodwork next week shows my hcg under 5. dang.

and then she called me back. she said "your sob story worked. he's letting you start."

what?!?

my BCP are called in to the pharmacy. we are just waiting on AF to get started.

big smile.

i am so relieved. i can feel the clouds lifting already.