Thursday, October 1, 2009

bleeding and baby showers

i finally started bleeding on tuesday. it was like the worst period of my life, including the worst cramps of my life. they actually stopped me in my tracks a few times. it's funny, i actually at one point thought, damn, if i can't handle these cramps how the f*ck am i going to ever handle contractions? i went in for bloodwork this morning and my hcg is down to 747. looks like i won't need another shot of mtx. woo hoo!

during the midst of all of this, i had to make a diaper cake last night for my best friend's baby shower which is this weekend. there will be at least 3 other pregnant friends there, as well and a few new babies. i don't know how i'm going to react. the good thing is, my best friend is really supportive and already sent me an email saying essentially that she has no idea what to say to me and she is thinking about me non stop and she can't believe how supportive i've been of her while going through my own issues with infertility and if i can't go, or stay at her shower she will totally understand. just knowing that is making the idea of being there a little easier. i really want to be there to support her and give her her special day, but i'm not sure how i'll feel once i'm in a room surrounded by pregnant people, babies and baby things and lots of pregnancy and baby talk. the thought of it makes me want to throw up a little. and i can't even drink a few mimosas to take the edge off. dang!

7 comments:

myemptynest said...

I continue to be amazed by your courage and your positive attitude. I hope we can all learn something from you. Thinking of you.

irrationalexuberance said...

You are incredibly brave. I would run screaming and had someone else buy the cake. Be well.

Lin said...

Thank you for giving me strength to go to my own BFF's baby shower (who's not quite as supportive or understanding as yours it sounds like) and be STRONG, too! Will be thinking of you!

jones said...

I'm so sorry to learn about this. thinking of you.

One Who Understands said...

You are an amazing friend! You are wonderful to be supportive of her AND make a diaper cake! WOW!

(((HUGS)))

Wishing 4 One said...

you are amazing my friend. i think the fact that your friend is so supportive and understanding does make it that much "easier" to attend. have a good weekend and know we all think youre so amazing girl.

Lin said...

Stopping by to see how the shower went. I survived mine with only one brief teary moment when they started showing the 4D u/s. I had to leave the room for that one. Hope yours went well, as well.

I also left a blog award for you over at my blog! :-)