2 strong heartbeats!!

the most beautiful thing i've ever seen.

both babies are measuring 6w4d, just a few days behind, which is normal for twins.

Baby A's heartrate was 128

Baby B's heartrate was 131.

i have been booted out of the RE's care and onto a regular OB with regular pregnant people.

i am feeling nauseous and exhausted with waves of dizziness and loving every minute of it.

feeling pregnant

the last few days have brought some nausea, dizziness and exhaustion. i find that if i try to eat every 2 hours or so, i feel a little better. it is worst in the morning until about 10 and then gets bad again in the evenings. i out of know where become STARVING, but nauseous at the same time, so nothing seems appetizing. the good thing is, it's pretty healthy things that i can tolerate, like yogurt, crackers with peanut butter and soup. i'm trying to eat lots of protein and folic acid. mr. found out there is lots of both in chick peas and lentils and has been trying to force feed me these things and these things only. (i happen to have some texture issues and hate both) my mom made me some beef stew loaded with beans, veggies and lentils which i've been eating too. i ordered some "preggy pops" along with a book on twin pregnancy. if anyone has any suggestions on good twin and/or pregnancy books, i'd love to hear them. part of me didn't want to order the book, in case we get bad news next week, but the other part of me feels like i really need to start reading about this stuff! i also think i need to find a bella band, since i pretty much have my pants unbuttoned at all times.

i am relieved that i am feeling sick, and feeling "pregnant". i am hoping this is a good sign and we will see 2 heartbeats at our u/s on monday. i will be 7 weeks at that point, so we should definitely see them, right?

quick update

2 gestational sacs

plus

2 yolk sacs

snuggled in my uterus

equals

1 sigh of relief

so far so good.

did i eat too much?

um, i just had a very disturbing discovery.

i was feeling some abdominal discomfort and i realized i needed to undo the button of my pants.

now, i know i've been a little hungrier than usual, and i was just on vacation, which meant more restaurant meals, but really? i'm only 5w4d so there is no way that is the reason for my expanding waist, is there?

one more day of work to get through and then we will know what is going on. U/S is tomorrow afternoon!!

beta #2

so i was able to get some blood drawn in florida, and my second beta was

1937 :)

they told me it was high enough, so i didn't have to go in for a third. which was a relief at the time because getting the second done was a catastrophy! i forget how good i have it with great insurance. i found a lab in florida and they told me i didn't need an appointment and that although it was first come first serve, they moved pretty quickly. that was a LIE! i waited for 2 and a half hours!! they had 2 people drawing blood and 2 people working the front desk, and there were about 50 people waiting for labwork! after 1h 45m, i went up to one of the ladies at the desk. i very kindly asked her if she could tell me how many more people were ahead of me. (i was ready to leave, as i had 3 kids at the hotel waiting for me to get back to go to Sea.world because i had the rental car) her reply was, "that would mean i'd have to look at the list."

what?!? you mean the list on the clipboard right next to you? seriously?

it was a nightmare. when they finally called me in, they took forever saying they couldn't do out of state orders even though i had called the day before and my insurance company told me to go there. then i went into the room and the lady had to leave twice to gather supplies. seriously, you are drawing blood here, don't you think you should stock the rooms appropriately? then, she took blood from my forearm! about halfway between my elbow and wrist. i have never had blood drawn there and i don't understand that. and lastly, they were REUSING the tie offs for peoples arms. are you kidding me?!? we are dealing with blood here people.

anyway. now i'm wishing i had a third number for reassurance. go figure.

i have been having some pulling and twinges in my uterine area. it's kind of freaking me out. it's totally freaking mr. out. he made me call the nurse this morning. the one thing that is reassuring is that it is on both sides. the chance of having a double ectopic can't be that high, right?

friday is my 6 week u/s. (i'll be 5w5d) i am terrified! i am terrified that there is not actually anything growing in there. i am terrified of them handing me a piece of paper that says, "empty uterus, suspected ectopic" like they did last time. i think my worst fear is that one is ectopic and the other is in the uterus all happy. what do they do? do they make you terminate both? i think i would ask them to try to take out that tube and try and save the one in my ute. (i know, i know, i'm crazy thinking through all these scenarios, but knowing how i'll react in the worst case scenarios helps me feel better)

i was talking to a friend who just began testing with an RE. we were talking about how admitting there is something wrong and seeking treatment forces you to give up the romantic idea of getting pregnant. i feel like my last BFP took away the romantic idea of actually seeing that second line, since it ended in an ectopic. now i can't even get excited until i am reassured that everything is okay. i really hope everything is okay.

and the results are in....

beta #1, 10dp5dt is......

466!!!

woo hoo!

now of course my doctor is mad at me that i won't be in state for follow-up beta's on Friday and next Monday. (they want to monitor me more closely because of my previous ectopic. so now i'm off to google around and see if i can find a hospital or fertility clinic or something that will do bloodwork for me on those days in Florida. the nurse told me if i don't there will be "a note on my permanent record that i went against medical advice" sounds scary...hmm... let's hope i can find someone who's willing to take my blood!

updates

sorry for the lack of posting during my vacation.

so, out of the 21 eggs, all of them fertilized. on day 5 we transferred 2 expanded blastocysts and still had 5 or 6 embies that may have made it to freeze. unfortunately only 1 made it, but i am happy that we at least have one. and hopefully we won't need it any time soon.

according to multiple pee sticks, it looks like i just may be pregnant. my beta is tomorrow. i am happy, but i don't think i'll get excited until i see on u/s that it isn't ectopic like last time.

i am randomly craving orange juice and wheat thins, just like last time.

i don't mean to be greedy, and i will be happy with anything but an ectopic, but i really hope it's twins :)

i will update with my beta # tomorrow afternoon, but then i am off to sunny florida for a week to cheer on my dad and brother as they run the dis.ney marathon!

Happy New Year!