beta #2

so i was able to get some blood drawn in florida, and my second beta was

1937 :)

they told me it was high enough, so i didn't have to go in for a third. which was a relief at the time because getting the second done was a catastrophy! i forget how good i have it with great insurance. i found a lab in florida and they told me i didn't need an appointment and that although it was first come first serve, they moved pretty quickly. that was a LIE! i waited for 2 and a half hours!! they had 2 people drawing blood and 2 people working the front desk, and there were about 50 people waiting for labwork! after 1h 45m, i went up to one of the ladies at the desk. i very kindly asked her if she could tell me how many more people were ahead of me. (i was ready to leave, as i had 3 kids at the hotel waiting for me to get back to go to Sea.world because i had the rental car) her reply was, "that would mean i'd have to look at the list."

what?!? you mean the list on the clipboard right next to you? seriously?

it was a nightmare. when they finally called me in, they took forever saying they couldn't do out of state orders even though i had called the day before and my insurance company told me to go there. then i went into the room and the lady had to leave twice to gather supplies. seriously, you are drawing blood here, don't you think you should stock the rooms appropriately? then, she took blood from my forearm! about halfway between my elbow and wrist. i have never had blood drawn there and i don't understand that. and lastly, they were REUSING the tie offs for peoples arms. are you kidding me?!? we are dealing with blood here people.

anyway. now i'm wishing i had a third number for reassurance. go figure.

i have been having some pulling and twinges in my uterine area. it's kind of freaking me out. it's totally freaking mr. out. he made me call the nurse this morning. the one thing that is reassuring is that it is on both sides. the chance of having a double ectopic can't be that high, right?

friday is my 6 week u/s. (i'll be 5w5d) i am terrified! i am terrified that there is not actually anything growing in there. i am terrified of them handing me a piece of paper that says, "empty uterus, suspected ectopic" like they did last time. i think my worst fear is that one is ectopic and the other is in the uterus all happy. what do they do? do they make you terminate both? i think i would ask them to try to take out that tube and try and save the one in my ute. (i know, i know, i'm crazy thinking through all these scenarios, but knowing how i'll react in the worst case scenarios helps me feel better)

i was talking to a friend who just began testing with an RE. we were talking about how admitting there is something wrong and seeking treatment forces you to give up the romantic idea of getting pregnant. i feel like my last BFP took away the romantic idea of actually seeing that second line, since it ended in an ectopic. now i can't even get excited until i am reassured that everything is okay. i really hope everything is okay.