because now i'm freaking out again. mr. and i had a conversation about how there is probably nothing wrong, and there is no reason to think there is since there is no spotting/cramping/etc, but after everything we've been through, we are both nervous that the next appointment will bring more bad news, since that's what we are used to.
i'm trying to stay positive. i'm still slightly nauseous often and have trouble sleeping at night. also, without warning i get HUNGRY. and i'm talking, if i don't get food immediately i'm going to throw up, hungry. even though i've lost about 10 pounds, my belly is totally growing! it's hard to believe since the babies are only about an inch big at this point, but i look pregnant. which is a problem, since i'm still trying to hide it! i've been wearing my pants unbuttoned with a b-band, or low rise pants that button below my belly, or even yoga pants, all coupled with bigger tops, sweaters and hoodies. next week is school vacation, and an appointment with the OB, so maybe after that i will have to let the cat out of the bag- if i hear 2 perfect heartbeats on the doppler, we'll see. i've read that with twins you measure about the same as a singleton pregnancy 6-8 weeks ahead of you, so that makes me feel a little better, but it feels a little odd to look so pregnant and not even be out of the first trimester. if i'm this big now, i can't imagine how big i will be in the end. i'm only 5'2". i might just topple over with baby at some point.
only a few more weeks until we see the babies on u/s again. and we get out of this trimester and feel a little better about the chances of actually holding 2 healthy babies in the end of all of this. i'm excited that at this u/s they will actually look like babies, and not just white blobs inside a black blob.