Friday, February 19, 2010

OB appointment today

why do i get so anxious whenever i have an appointment??

i have been having dead baby thoughts and stressing out that something is wrong for the last few days. again, no reason to think this at all. i just saw the babies last week and everything was FINE. mr. feels the opposite, when i have an appointment, he feels relieved that we will get reassurance that all is well. i should feel this way too.

i am hoping i will hear the heartbeats by doppler today. i wonder if they do 2 dopplers at once to make sure they don't find the same heartbeat twice? i am 10w4d so i'm assuming the doppler will work, right?

i was supposed to stop progesterone support on wednesday. i had been on it twice per day. yesterday i did just one and i will try to not do any today, but i have to admit i'm a little afraid to stop.

why must we infertiles be so aware of everything that can go wrong? why can't i just sit back and enjoy this pregnancy? i think i'll feel better once i can feel them, but that isn't for a while.


Lara (NoodleGirl) said...

This awareness of everything that can go wrong is definitely part of our IF girl scout badge sash. It's the "hyper-awareness and vigilance" badge ;).

When I went in for my 11-week u/s this week, it was the first time I have ever gone to an u/s where I didn't feel total dread of seeing a dead baby. I'm making progress! Of course, the first thing I noticed on screen was that I couldn't see the flicker of the h/b, but then I saw Bug kicking and flapping, so I figured that heart must be beating ;).

It's funny, my DH is the same about u/s - always looks forward to them. He's the Yin to my Yang in this respect.

I stopped progesterone cold turkey at 10 weeks. My RE insisted that your placenta is making plenty of its own if the baby(ies) are still doing well at this point. If all looks good today, I think you're fine to stop. I didn't mean to stop cold turkey, I was going to wean myself. But I found that once I got out of the routine of inserting every morning, my brain just completely stopped remembering to do it. No spotting, no issues since stopping.

Good luck today! Post a report later!!!!

Beautiful Mess said...

Sending you lots of love and peace, hon!

It's ok that you're aware. Of course the downside is the terrible thoughts that run through our heads. It also means you're an amazing mom and care deeply for your children. I admire you for that.

Post an update if you can.

One Who Understands said...

Good luck! It will all be fine. Yes, IF really screws us up!

sarah marie said...

I had an appt. today too...and I felt the exact same way! I am at about 10 weeks and a day...just one though. :) Glad to hear everything went great for you!