i'll follow the sun

i spent most of this week feeling sorry for myself.  i was starting to feel things that i don't want to feel, like anger and bitterness toward friends who are pregnant, sadness about not being pregnant yet, overall just dark and dreary.  i pretty much accomplished nothing, napped, watched tv and ate crap.  i felt lonely and miserable and pissed off.

today i woke up and it was sunny outside.  i felt pretty good and had a good morning with the kids.  i went out to lunch with a pregnant friend and i'm even feeling better about going to her baby shower on saturday where there will most likely be some gushing over my other newly pregnant friend.  i feel like the big dark cloud that was following me around all week has finally gone away.  i'm glad, because i want to be able to be happy for my friends.  i really am glad that none of them are going through what i am going through.  if i can take one for the team and be the infertile one in the group, so be it.  

my meds are coming today. i'm excited to see them and get started next friday.  that's a little weird, i guess, to be excited about shooting yourself up with drugs, feels a little bit like i'm an addict or something....

i know it's probably weird to give out your address to some stranger on the web, but if anyone would like a 4 leaf clover, i now have 5 to give away......