Friday, June 19, 2009

feeling lost

i feel like i am just waiting for each day to pass.  i have been so exhausted and therefore not able to go out and do anything to keep my mind busy.  it feels weird not to be going to the doctor for various bloodwork and ultrasounds, etc.  today it is a rainy miserable day and i'm feeling pretty rainy and miserable.  i have this sinking feeling that this try at IVF was not successful and it's really hitting me as to what that means. 

i just want to curl up and have the day pass quickly.  maybe i'll on-demand a chick flick and put my pj's back on.  i have some plans for the weekend that will hopefully preoccupy my mind, and then i just have to get through monday.  

i just want to know, good or bad. if it's good news, then, well, that's good! but if it's the bad news i'm thinking it will be, at least then we can jump back on the horse and begin the next steps.  


Just me said...

Girl, we are totally in the same place and frame of mind. I am not feeling optimistic and just wish the day was here already. I think my husband gets irritated when he comes home from work and finds me sitting on the couch, knitting, and watching Not To Sorry, sweetie, but I've got nothing left for doing the dishes or making the bed. I'm lucky I can make it through the school day lately.

Sadly, the rain is not supposed to let up through the whole weekend, but I hope something makes you feel more cheery soon!!!

sunflowerchilde said...

I know what you mean about wanting to KNOW! I don't understand the people who would rather put off finding out so they can have more time to hope and wonder. That's such torture!

I think you should totally put on your PJs and watch a chick-flick. And have a good weekend!

Mary said...

Oh, hon. Waiting is the worst. And it's weird but somehow having those appts do help the time go by. When they are over it's like...what now?!

Can't wait for Monday:)

Beautiful Mess said...

Sending you lots of hugs! I'm sorry you're feeling down. Have a lazy day, it'll be good for ya.

Liv said...

Oh darlin'. The waiting is torture. Honest to goodness I hope this is a short wait towards a really long wait...Like the 9 month kind.

Keeping everything crossed for you,