random thoughts about the wait

still here, just waiting and trying to keep my mind from getting too attached or hopeful.  i am also trying to keep mr.m from getting too attached or hopeful too.  i feel like i need to protect him from the possible heartache by reminding him that this might not work.  he is so hopeful.  he calls me and asks how our blastocyst is doing.  he kisses my belly.   i know he doesn't read all these heartbreaking stories of what other people have gone through (like i do, i'm a blog addict) to know what could happen.  part of me is glad he is unaware, but at the same time, i need to protect him from getting too excited.  does that make sense?

i'm tired from the progesterone and the lack of caffeine. (okay, i've been having a little half caf)  my boobs are so sore that when i bend over in the morning without a bra on i feel like the insides of my breast are falling out of my nipple.  doctor's orders are no sex and no orgasms until the beta. (and no caffeine, alcohol or fake sugar)

so here's the dilemma,

a lot of people know that we are going through IVF.  our families, friends, and my clients.  as i've mentioned, i run a small part time child care business out of an addition on our house. because i was going to have to take days off with little notice and change my hours to make it back from morning labs and u/s, i told the families that come here about it as well.  a few of them have gone through it, so they have been really helpful.  it's been great to have so much support during all of this and to have the chance to educate the people in our lives about infertility and the process of IVF. 

however, the big problem is with the result.  because so many people know and are hoping and praying for us, they will want to know if it worked.  most of them ask, "so, when do you find out?!?"  we realize we are probably going to have to tell people if we do get pregnant even though we'd prefer to wait at least until the first u/s (and 12 weeks for many of them!).  and then, what if i miscarry?  that will be hard to have to relive over and over telling people.  on a sheet we were given about 'surviving the wait',  the clinic recommends picking one person to spread the word either way. i don't know if this will really work for us either.

so far we decided not to tell anyone the actual date we will find out.  we are being vague, saying, "in a few weeks"  that way, no matter what the result, we can have the info ourselves for a few days before we have to share it. but what do we do?? should we send out an email to the effect of "thanks for the support and good thoughts, but please don't ask if we're pregnant?"  i don't know.  any advice  about what to do is welcome.